Boiling Over

Wow!  We surely are living in an exciting time.  No matter what you believe the air is charged with electricity and everyone is being zapped with little pops.  As hard as I try to stay away from the fray it is impossible to avoid the static entirely.

I turn off social media, but miss the antics of my great nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters.  So I turn it on again, hide the most obnoxious posters from my feed and then my snail mail box has a ton of political ads.  Blah.  At least (and I'm knocking on wood) my email has yet to be inundated with unsolicited political advertisement.

Since this national political season has me completely dumbfounded I try to keep my remarks honorable and sparse, but enjoy noticing the folly/humor of the whole scenario.  Once I got over the shell shock of our choices for president (let's just face it - our choices reflect our society) and settled in to ride the wave of off colored waters, I was able to reflect on what God has for me through all these happenstances.   As a result, I'm bubbling over.   I'd just like to release a bit of pressure in a way that hopefully won't be hurtful to anyone.

My first bubble:  Straighten up.

So I was at a party this past weekend and was standing next to an adult who said to a tweenager, "Come back to [this class].  No, wait, you don't behave well enough.  Start behaving and you can come back."   How does that sit with you?  Are you bubbling?  You should be.  

Friends, we have a responsibility to our future to be appropriate with our future.  This was a near family relative speaking to a young adult-ish person (who may change their diaper one day).  Please, when speaking to a child always remember they will be the ones in charge of your diaper one day.  Be kind, be patient, be sweet, be soft, be humorous.  

How I perceived that statement:  You're not good enough for my group - straighten up then you'll be good enough.  I've seen this in so many different aspects of life.  This particular sentence was spoken about a secular activity, but I've also heard it applied to our spiritual life entirely too many times.   "Jesus loves good little girls/boys."  WRONG!  Jesus loves me when I'm bad, though it makes him very sad.

Cliques are hurtful and exclusive.   We are communal beings and even the most removed individual will go mad without community and seek to form a community including other beings.  Why, exactly, do you thinks that our dogs and cats are now our "children" or "closer than family"?  (Realize, please, that this statement is only a personal observation as I have lived with animals my entire life and am very fond of them as individuals.)    

This adult communicated (in a sincere fashion), you have to meet certain criteria before you are welcome.  Instead of being welcoming to people, there was an obstacle - immediately before the person even put a hand on the door.  What was on the other side of the door will never be discovered because of the road block before this person.  AND do you remember?   Do you?  What was it like to be a tweenager? Remember how uncertain and uncomfortable you were in your own skin?   I shudder and despise those years.  Do we need criticism?  Yes.  But let's give it in the form of instruction.  Building one another up.  I would have rather this adult try to remember their own behavior at that age, which let me tell you, there were mistakes made.  Not everything needs to be pointed out and it certainly doesn't need to be done publicly to embarrass someone into compliance with our standard of morality.  

Oh.....Now I'm feeling ranty.......  So let me leave this person for a few moments and go to church.

I want so much to look more like Jesus everyday.  How does this apply to our church?  To people?  Friends, it is impossible for us to ever straighten up enough to come to God.   "All have gone astray." "All have fallen short."  God knew this and yet still provided a way for us.  "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  Have you forgotten what it's like to be astray?  Have you forgotten what it's like to be an unrepentant sinner?  

When I was a child I remember one of my teachers asking one day in children's church, "If someone nasty, filthy, smelly walked into our church, what would you do?"  I thoughtfully piped in with, "I'd go say hello.".   My teacher smiled and said, "that's what we should do, but it'd be pretty hard."  That lesson never left me in 30+ years.  I never remember the event happening at that church or any other church until 3 years ago.  My husband pastors a humble church in a rural town.  One day, a man (who actually went to school with my husband) walked in (late), stumbled to the coffee table, served himself sloppily and found a seat by sitting down but falling to the floor after missing the chair.  This man was a scrag.  Nothing desirable in him, stunk, couldn't stand up straight and, by gum, he certainly couldn't tithe.  What do you think happened?  Our leadership discretely got up, while our pastor continued speaking helped the man up and got him situated with another cup of coffee and made him feel loved.  That is the hands and feet and head and heart of Jesus - in life - in action.

Watch the obstacles you place in others' paths.  Are they missing out on the fullness of blessing and peace and joy because you were trying to fix something about them yourperceive as a problem?  What we see of another human being is surface level - even if we think we know everything - we don't; God weighs the matter of the heart and see the inmost being.  Let the Holy Spirit do the work in someone's life through you.  

Ask God right along with me:, "Lord, give me eyes to see people (young and old) the way you see them.  Use me to be help in bringing them to you.  Help me see the obstacles I've built for people and allow me to remove them to bring you glory.  For the glory of your son, Jesus.  Amen.

Peace, God bless.

Happy New Year!

As I write this post, it is actually before Christmas.  I was just scrolling through my Facebook feed and saw a “memory” post from 3 years ago by one of Jim’s cousins.  I was struck by the fact in the original post, my cousin’s mother liked the photo.  This year this beloved Aunt has died.  She died just 5 months after her husband of 60 years.  It was shocking and grief racking through the holiday season.  

I was struck by the thought shared by her husbands brother.  He was at this Aunts house putting up Christmas decorations and came across a devotional note left by their mother.  It was poignant as the passage was not only a message for her, but for the family in that moment.  It was from I Corinthians “….for in my weakness His strength is perfected…..”.   

This to me is an example of God’s love perfected through us when we allow him to direct our paths, our minds and our loves.   When this happens, we impact not only in living, but in death.  Anything sown for God’s glory will not be a waste.

As you seek God this coming  year through worship, praise, prayer, reading and living ask.  Ask God “how does this scripture apply to my life in honoring you?” , “how does this passage change my heart to grow your kingdom here on earth?”, “am I moldable and open to the work of the holy spirit in my life to be more like your Son, Jesus?” ; “Open the eyes of my heart to want to be more like you.”.

I honestly believe this is where revival and renewal begins: in our own heart, our own lives and our own living.  People would rather read you than read the bible.  Live the whole word loudly.  Ask God to make 2016 a year where you grow so close to Him through His Word that no one will question your dependence on Him.

Peace and Blessings

May God be with you through this new year.

This picture is precious to me:  It was taken at a family camp in North Country NY.  It brings back so much of what is good in my life.  Godly, generous, forward thinking grandparents who gave of themselves not just for their kingdom but more for God's kingdom.  It gifts the image of family gatherings, games and laughs.  I reminds me of parents who appreciate integrity and goodness.  There's shadows moving about the picture of people preparing to board the boat and tour the river or go fishing, gathering to enjoy the splendor of the view God had gifted this spot or fellowship around a yard game or people living out their faith in word and deed always making sure that their deed matched their words.  That is my gift God has given me through heritage.  You don't have to do great things in God's name, just focus on living His word and He will do great things through you.  

This passage is precious to me:

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the couple of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of the mocker but whose delight is in the law of the Lord and on His law he meditates both day and night.  He is be like a tree planted by streams of the water.  Which yield fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.  Psalms 1:1-3 NIV84

I love this Psalm.  It is one of the first I remember memorizing.  I pray this Psalm over my husband  my children and myself.  Keep our hearts focused on you, Lord.  Keep us in Your word.  Reap the fruit of Your works in our lives.

A prayer from Psalms 1:1-3

Lord, Work in this area of my (or loved one’s) life.  Make me (them) this tree planted by water streams: strong, steadfast and bearing.  Nurture me (them) with the everlasting water of your Word.  Keep me (my loved one) in meditation on your word day and night and reap the fruit for your kingdom.  AMEN

Blessings......

For the last year, I've posted a blessing for each day on my Facebook feed.  It was response to God's leading through a friend.  The year previous, she posted a blessing each day of the year.  It was life changing to her and in the process to me.

I was changed by acknowledging gifts in my life, whether great or small, into realizing that God had me every day, every step and every way.  I saw that even in the "bad" there was goodness.  

I hope this year to leave the format of Facebook and post the blessing here. to move forward with the seeds of joy, peace and love in my soul and heart to share.  And quite honestly, I need a Facebook break. 

Journey with me, while I start up my blog again. Sharing the blessing of God's work in my life's journey.

A Prodigal

Luke 15 beginning in verse 11 tells the story of the prodigal son. Most of you have heard it, but you can read it to refresh your memory.

Most of my life I have always believed that the prodigal was a bad place to be. The more I grow in my relationship with God, the more I realize how vital the prodigal position is to true repentance, true Christ-likeness.

The prodigal has two things going for him:
1. He realizes he has great need.
2. He understands that God has great wealth of mercy.

It hasn't been until recently that I can say that I am a forgiven prodigal rather than the son that stayed with no reason to be forgiven --- or at least none that he can see.

Break my heart for what breaks yours, Jesus.

Perspective

Yesterday was "Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day", so they say.  I think the entire nation was as polarized as 9-11, just in different directions instead of one focus.  Very few people were indifferent, but motivated by some aspect of the argument.


To a small group of folks, it was a sad, shocking day, though.  

Photo by permission compliments of "Kuldeep Chudasama".  Thank you!

Wesley Bryant, 22, of Carthage, NC left this earth behind.  It was sudden.  It was unexpected.  It was tragic.  It doesn't matter how.  It is too much!


If you didn't know my friend, Wes, you missed out.


I will be 45 this year on my birthday and I can honestly say that I have NEVER met anyone with the level of sincerity this kid had.  He loved everyone as a person and expressed it in his way-with gentleness and kindness.  If you read his Facebook wall, it is filled with "you were a great friend" by hundreds.


We were accidental friends really.  Two of his best friends and band mates were friends of mine and played in our church's worship band.  One of those boys (men now) has an amazing story of his own.   So we were friends of friends.  Since Wes worked his way through high school and college at the only grocery store in town, we slowly became friends.

Photo used with permission and compliments of Shaun Dirte Gleason. Thank you!

Joey, Wes, Derrick and one of their friends.

He probably didn't like me much at first, I am the pastor's wife, after all, but slowly he warmed.  And just to be honest, I was a little intimidated by him at first.  I began to appreciate him so much that I made it a point to use his check out line when he would come home from college on break even if meant me waiting.  We would chat about school, his body art  on his arms (which was gorgeous) and ALWAYS music-Seventh Denial then lately As Oceans and occasionally church.


It was this passed winter break, I think, that I knew from Facebook that he was home and happened into Food Lion.  There he was, in his spot.  He wasn't waiting on a customer because it was slow at that moment.  He looked up from what he was doing and got a big smile on his face and came around the counter and greeted me with a hug.  That was Wes.  Just a lovable guy.  I'm not a metal fan, so I've never been to one of his concerts.  He's not a church fan, so he'd not been to church.  We were just two friends saying "Hi!  It's so good to see you!"


Two weeks ago, he brought some clothes and shoes by my shop for donation.  What a joy it was to see him.  I lamented to him that I missed seeing him to which he agreed, but started sharing with me his internship work and everything going on in his life.  Even in the not so good stuff he had seen the silver lining and was turning it to good.  He asked me about my life, my family and sent a "hi" message to my husband asking about him and the church.  He was so different from that young man I had met 4-5 years ago.  He was confident and happy.  He was genuine and real. 


I will miss him.  You see, he taught me a lot with out knowing it.  I am thankful for the life lessons he shared in his easy manner of appreciating life and seeking Truth.


August 1, 2012 will always be a day for me when a seeker left this life wondering if their was any Truth, while many in this bible-belted community fought and voiced their right to be right.  


One person jokingly shared with me a week ago, "we won...nahnahnahnahnah".  Yes, we may have won here and now, but did Jesus in the later?


I love you, Wes, dear young friend.  Thank you for sharing your time with me.  Your life lessons will never be lost.


Jesus, thank you for Wes.  Place on my heart every day the type of genuineness that he had with love and appreciation for everyone, even people that I don't agree with.  Let me be about your business and not my own.  Amen.








  

Utterly broken

I'm sitting here shaking in tears.


I feel like Peter in the boat speaking to Jesus.  "Depart from me, I am a sinful man."


My mediation today has been from Romans 1&2.


Paul says that no one has an excuse.  God has given us every opportunity to turn to him, but some have turned away giving themselves up to a depraved mind.  


It's easy for the Christian to understand chapter 1, we stand on it every time we make a judgement. 


BUT


God saw fit to remind the Christian in Romans 2:1-3 ending with a severe warning in vs 4.  


As I read and re-read and meditated on verses 18 through 32 of Romans 1 I realized a few things about myself in a way that I never have before


I'll admit that I don't like confrontation so I may not be completely forth right about things - skirt issues that I know will cause problems (deceit).  I want things that others have (covetousness, envy).  I am proud (haughty) will let you know it (insolent and boastful).  Joke too much on the wrong things (foolish).  Devise plans (faithless).


God through Paul says that I am just like the homosexual.


Romans 2:3 (ESV) Do you suppose, O man--you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself--that you will escape the judgment of God?


Who is the "you"?
According to the introduction Paul is speaking to "all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints" (vs 7) -- the church in Rome - known as the Gentile church.


It was unreal to me as I worked my way through it, but I felt the presence of God the entire time as he pealed back layers in my heart to reveal my condition and held my hand pointing me to the one that won the victory over that sin.


I was a dark place to go, but the light of the world was their with me.  I could not have gone through it 30-some years ago when I said a prayer, my eye sight and hearing were not ready.    It took me a long time to be able to desire that I apply God's word to my own life instead of applying it to situations and folks around me.

My relationship to God is one that is because of Jesus' sacrifice, cultivated and secured by the work of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 8:1 clearly states that because of Jesus there is no condemnation   Thank you, Jesus.


This place where God took me is definitely hard to put into words, but I wish that everyone reading it could experience that type of purity and openness before God.  It is truly humiliating. 


Father, keep me ever humble before you.  Amen.

A special day

Happy Birthday, Emma Grace!

She 3 today. Give or take.

What do I mean?

Emma Grace has an amazing past.  Because of her birth country's customs and laws, she was an outcast -literally-outcast.  Left in the darkness alone only hours to days old.

Her story is inconceivable to me.  I couldn't imagine being in a situation where I felt as though I had to turn my infant out in hopes of the kindness of others.

I have to wonder if Emma's birth mamma and papa think of her.  Do they still mourn her loss (to them)?  Do they ever wonder what became of that small creature of their own womb they left in the night?  I would have to think that Emma's image is engraved in their minds for all eternity.

Thankfully, Emma Grace's story doesn't end on the streets, God had amazing plans for her.

Probably one of the reasons, ok, the main reason that EG was left was because she has defects.  She had cleft defects which were obvious.  For the poor peasant scary.  Not so obvious she had a CHD....Congenital Heart Defect....a broken heart.

While Emma was being processed in the government God started working in a couples heart that they needed to adopt.  They had all boys and really wanted a girl.  Where is the first place that you think of when you think adopting a girl?  China.  The process steam rolled.  The young couple would not be stopped and pressed forward through hurdles of finance, red tape and bureaucracy.  

It took 18 months to bring Emma Grace home, but was worth every tear and drop of sweat released.  She is truly living up to her name bringing favor and wholeness to every person she meets.  Her physical repairs are complete and she is a typical thriving toddler.

Emma's story goes beyond that though.

As with any adoption, I am reminded of my own adoption because it is a picture of my salvation, your salvation and the salvation of mankind.  We are outcast and unwanted, but a gracious Father put a burning desire in his Son's heart to return us to a family.  God's family.  John 1:19

Recently I shared a video on my facebook time line of a young boy who is close to becoming too old to be adopted that seemingly went unnoticed.  I ranted that it wasn't viewed or shared, which brought notice to Joseph, the boy.  Joseph and many other human beings like him become the property of their government in this case.  I was sarcastically informed that my friends sharing his video would do nothing to help, but I disagree.

I can honestly say that I do not know how God is working in anyone's heart and mind and sometimes even my own heart and mind.  I never thought in a million years that an Emma Grace would come into my life.  I would have to wonder if by taking just a moment to hit share that God could use that as a way to spark a fire in someone's heart.  

A spark to reverse the inhumane laws that place these innocent babies in the situation that they find themselves in the first place.  A spark to allow someone to serve the orphan.  Or even   spurn someone to adopt a child.  People like Emma Grace's adoptive parent who would not be stopped until she was with them.

I believe knowledge is power and getting the word out is the beginning of knowledge.  You can make a difference with small things in a big way.

Pray for the orphan.  Pray for potential parents for these orphans.  And pray for their care givers.  Remember in some cases they are caring for the outcasts of their society and treat them as such. 

hmm....

Well, as usual, I have good intentions but intentions don't write words or share my life.

So.  I've started different entries, but I never completed them and they sit in the draft.  They were mainly ranty or grumbly not really encouraging you or honoring to God.  Primarily serving my self righteousness.

Even when I point out good things others should do, it's wrong.

Did you know it's the Holy Spirit's job to convict a soul, not your and certainly not mine.  That is what makes me a hypocrite - taking the position of someone else.

And boy, oh boy!! he knows how to do that very well.

The other morning, see, it happened like this...

I have an old coffee pot - a bunn-0-matic for home.  It's quick and hot.  Mine is old enough though that the heat has hurt the plastic and caused it to become brittle and crack causing it to leak.  Well the day before Jim saw me pouring in a partial pot of water which he swears causes it to overflow.

I woke up and said I have to change out the coffee pots because this one is leaking.  I took a twenty minute teaching on why to never pour a partial pot of water.  It was 6am and I hadn't had my coffee.  I informed him I wasn't stupid and he didn't need to beat me up over it, but that he could trust me because I had already knew what was wrong with it.

So I had to set it back up and show him.

He left for the day with out even saying goodbye.

I was at work grumbling to myself about his self righteousness.

To top that off, it was the first day of a missions trip for a local church's youth group.  They are in an area where people are mislead.  So the comments were very rough concerning people of the receiving community.

All I saw around me was judgement and here it is.  This is where God works on my heart.  He asks: "And you?"

I started seeing all the ways that I was a critical person - a hypocritical person.  Someone who wanted people to act the way that I wanted them to act, not necessarily the way God wanted them to act.

It was such a struggle in my spirit that I hurt that night by the time I got home from work.

Pray for me that I would sell out for God and worry about building his kingdom, not my own.

I'm here!

Hi Everyone!


I am here.  I am breathing and maybe even treading water.  It has been an amazing couple of weeks.


God has taken me through the valley while fear swirled above my head, to the mountain top with splendor all around and through the rocky crag with anger and bitterness nipping at my heels.  


I thank God that no matter the path I walk, he is there, guiding me with his perfect plan.


Coming (hopefully tomorrow):  Our trip to Staunton River State Park, Scottsburg, VA. 


Love you all!

Thank You For Trauma.

On Monday, I posted a fb status like: I feel like I could use some comfort food.  I don't know why because I'm not usually like that. ...."


While I was wanting some homemade mac-n-cheese....
really....
I could taste it.....


My father was is crisis.


He has an accident that could have killed him.


He was mowing with the tractor and was thrown.  


Thankfully....
The mower was unengaged....


Thankfully...
he came away with just some trauma.


Just some trauma?
Yes, I am thankful for trauma.


Have you ever seen a bush hog?  Operate?


In case you haven't, it is a rotating blade that is meant to cut bush.  I've cut saplings with mine without thought.


Imagine what that would do to a man?


Where did it run over him?


Head to toe.


Yeah, I'm happy and thankful for trauma.


He has a broken vertebrae, clavicle and scapula.  He'll have a long recovery.  But that all is better than chopped.


So, I'm thankful.


My meditation for Monday was:
Isaiah 40:13-14
Who has understood the mind of the Lord,
or instructed him as his counselor?
14 Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

 God is in control.

And I know that if God had given a different outcome he would still be in control.  There is peace in that a great deal of peace.

It's ok to ask God about it.  It is ok to ask why.  Why the inoperable cancer for the young child?  Why do this one grow up without enough food to eat?  He's not afraid of those questions, but prepare yourself for the answer. 

God told Job to stand up and take it like a man.  You can read about that here in "Cow Girl Up."  

Honestly, If we are Christ-like, would we not pray "not my will, but your's, Oh, God."

I think so.

Thank you, Father, for your mercies.  Thank you for your tenderness.  Thank you for allowing me to experience your great power and help me to understand that life isn't about what I want, but building your kingdom.  When I don't understand, point me back to the fact that you are holy and righteous never making a mistake. Thank you for the peace to know that no matter what happens you have the outcome fully in hand.  Thank you for the trauma.  I love you.

Another Saturday

Such a fun day. 


I like Saturdays almost as much as I love Sundays.


Today was so laid back and I even got a nap.


Days like today allow me to really reflect on myself.  


I keep coming back to the same thing:  God, forgive and remove my self righteousness.  Allow me to love people not for what I believe they should be but for what you are doing in their life.  In Jesus name, AMEN!

Application

Sometimes, in life, I have to question myself.
Am I doing what I proclaim?  Practicing what I preach?  Am I pleasing my LORD?  Am I showing his love toward all - no matter what?


I have a tendency to lean toward a critical spirit.  It is problematic for me - duplicity really and I don't like it at all.  


I look at other Christians and wonder are they for real?  Do they read the same word I do?  Do they know the same Jesus?  


Early in my growing years as a Christ follower, I received and read a lot of scripture.  It was mainly received for information.  I can pretty much give you a jet tour of the whole bible and could within a year of following Jesus.  


There was one thing that was missing or maybe better stated: the one thing I feel that was missing in my scripture time was application.  


What good is knowledge without wisdom?  Just having knowledge gives pride; pride puffs up.  Pride is the exact opposite of humility.  Wisdom leads to a path of humility.


During the late 80's and early 90s, religious marketers effectively took a line from the book "In His Steps" by Charles Shelton:  'What Would Jesus Do?'  I like that and I still use it (even though I don't have the bracelet any longer), but I can only use it as much as I know about Jesus and about how he acted and reacted.


I read God's word daily and meditate, but is it enough?  For me, NO.  I have to ask, actually beg, God use your word to change my heart.  


Father, Change me to look like you son so that you may be glorified.  Use your word in my life to cleanse me, my heart, my mind and soul.  I want to be a vessel that honors you, one that you can use to build your kingdom.  Take control of my life so that I cast off judgement of others and am free to love like you love.


Let me know if you pray that way as well.  Can I pray with you?

Praise!

My day? 
Started out great!  Thank you for asking.


See, we read the last few chapters of Psalms this morning for our bible reading.  It is all about  PRAISE.


The very last verse of Psalms says:
Psalms 150:6 Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.  


Yep, that's how my day started.


But reading all that praise reminded me of a sermon - an amazing praise filled sermon.


S.M. Lockridge
That's my KING!


Have you heard it?


click the title (a link) and be uplifted-soar actually.


So what happened to me today after reading and listening to that message?
talked to my sister - nice to catch up.
texted with my brothers - nice also.
found out on of my favorite high school teacher's son had died horrifically over the weekend - sad.
store very slow - bad.
disobedient children - ugh.
more things to do that time to do them - frustrating.
Ephraim's heart twin had foot movement for the first time since birth (7 years) - spectacular.
but 
praise God - he is my King.


Praising helps me maintain a positive attitude through it all.  This week I have experience many ups and downs, my own and other people's.  I try to always focus on Jesus.  


Praise God, He is my King.  He is there for me.  Day or night.  Rain or shine.  Never changing.  


Yep, I'll be ok because I will praise God.


How about you?  What does praising God bring you through?

Memorial Day!

Memorial Day - a day of remembrance.

What am I remembering today?

Did you know that our elders used to call this decoration day?  Yep.  Know why?  Well, I'm not really sure, but I think it came from a time when there was unity in the nation and towns would remember their fallen heroes.  EVERYONE showed their colors.  RED, WHITE & BLUE.

People would fly the flag on their front porch or display a patriotic wreath to cause us to remember.  Some would take little flags to the cemetery plots of fallen heroes.   We would decorate.  Few do those things anymore.  

I remember with my family in small ways.  We fly our colors.  I talk to my children about the sacrifice others have made to give freedom and security.   Pray with my children and ask God's blessing in their surviving family's life.  We enjoy a family meal together, which is a rare treat these days.  

It gives me a chance to talk about my Jesus.

John 15:13

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

Jesus had great love.  He had great love for you and for me - for all man-kind.

How do we know that we are Jesus' friend.

Verse 14 says "You are my friends if you do what I command."

Verse 17 says "This is my command: Love each other."

This is what I focus on today and most days.  Jesus gave his all to change my life.  

Thank you, Jesus.  Change me to live more sacrificial for others the way you did.  Change me to love freely and openly for your honor and glory to build your kingdom.

Jealousy

Have you ever heard that God is jealous?  Yep.  


Or at least his word claims that he is.


Check it out.


Exodus 20:5 (+6 for context & blessing)
⁵ You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶ but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.


Then there is:
Exodus 34:14
¹⁴ Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. 


Then also:
Deuteronomy 4:24
and
Deuteronomy 5:9
and
Deuteronomy 6:15
and 
Deuteronomy 32:21
and
Joshua 24:19
and 
Nahum 1:2


God is a jealous god.  He will not share his creation.


Are you his?  


I am his and I have to wonder how I rouse God's jealousy.


Could it be my 
hobbies
shopping
no?
collections
relaxation
no?
How about 
my children
my husband
my parents
siblings
friends?


I tend to believe that whatever our knuckles get the whitest over holding back from God will be what he uses to bring us back to proper perspective.


When Ephraim was born, it was scary and he was dying.   Never once did my husband and I pray that God would take him or us out of that situation; instead, we prayed, "Save this child physically if you intend to save him in your kingdom and use him."  He wasn't ours - not then and surely not now - just on loan - as are TJ and Amber, also.


I think the thing I value that God has really challenged my with is my friendships, though.  Those relationships that I thought were Christ centered and godly were horrifically and heartbreakingly removed from me .   It was as if God was telling me that I valued my friendship with people more that I valued my friendship with him.  I focused more on my relationship with God and he returned a dear friend to me.  Thank you, Jesus!


Father God,
Keep my heart, mind, soul and strength focused on you.   Lifting up praise, honor and glory to you - to the Son - to the Holy Spirit.  Help me make much of you for your kingdom.  Thank you, for the reminder that you are jealous and will have no other gods before you.  Help me to identify the gods in my life so that I may remove them with your help.  I love you, Lord.  Be Lord in my heart so that others may see you in me.

Ecclesiastes  

3 There is a time for everything and a season 

    for every activity under the heavens:

2 

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot, 

3 

    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 

    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6 

    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 

    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 

    a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

These are my sentiments of the weekend.  

Read verse 4 again:  

4 

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,

I spent Friday night and the majority of my day Saturday being with my best girl as she prepared for her youngest daughter's wedding. 

It was joyous.  

It was funny.

It was a celebration.

My husband performed the ceremony, so he was engaged in the preacher thing that he does.

As things were winding down, my girl stood outside the reception going over what else she needed me to do and sharing our girl giggles that we share when my husband approaches and says that he has to go to the hospital.

It was just the three of us standing there so he told us that an older male friend of ours had just died.  It was sudden and completely unexpected.  We both asked him if he was serious.

Here we were in the peels of laughter and here comes a story that no one wants to hear - ever.

The flow of life is cycles.

Cycles give us time to reflect, renew and repair.

We both shed tears that we quickly brought under control so as to not alert the bride and groom.  We prayed together.  Then we worked.  (Probably one of the greatest reasons that we are so close - work is our release.)

There is a time to cry and a time to laugh.

My heart breaks for the surviving family of our friend especially his son; while at the same time rejoices in the beginning journey of the newly weds.

Thank you, Jesus.  While we experience sorrow, you can still bring joy.  Thank you for that vivid experience.  Please be with this family as they begin a journey that is long and hard.  Draw each one to lean on you.  Amen.

How about you?  Has God every put something in your path that just made you utter, "Thank you, Jesus!"

Surprises!!!

I LOVE cooking up surprises and I'm cooking one right now for my parents.  I have to sit on it till much later, but it's sooooooo exciting.


In 2002, my parents celebrated 50 years together.  This year will be 60 years.  That is amazing to me.  I've been married to Jim for 23 years and that feels like a lifetime to me.


About 4 years ago, my parents had a total fire loss of their home.  Everything.  Very little was salvaged and what was saved probably shouldn't have been.  I remember right before I returned to my home from the initial clean up I went into the room at my brother's house where he and mom were bunking.  I found him sobbing.  I just held him and reminded him that we still had him and mom the rest didn't matter compared to that.  The house burned for 6-7 hours while my parents slept.  I can't think about that much without a shutter.


In the house were generations of mementos and memories.  This is the house of my childhood and will always be home in my heart.  It was a 150 year old beam constructed farm house.


People graciously helped replace copies of pictures and the such.  There was one thing that dad had asked me about when he came to visit this winter.  I hadn't really thought of it much since 2002, but he asked me if I had a copy of the poem he wrote mom.


I looked when he asked, but couldn't find it.  I even thought I may have an electronic copy- nope.


I pack rat terrible and have annoyed myself to no return.  I'm cleaning.  I've been working in my sewing/craft room lately.  I was getting ready to throw away some scrapbooking scraps and fanned it.  Guess what?  Yep, there it was.  Treasure in a pile of trash.


Maybe one day, I'll ask if I can share the poem here, but for now the treasure is safe at heart.  I  love being the hero and today, I'm a hero.  I returned a gift from my father to my mother.  One they thought was lost forever.

History, Meditations and Change

I am blessed to be in church at a very young age.  My first memory of church was when I was little, little.  There was a girl who looked like my oldest sister who had just left to go to college.  I didn't understand the girl at all and was afraid of her as a result I wasn't the kindest of people to her.  


The next memory I have is a Sunday School class at that same church.  The teacher talked about how scarred hands help us.  At the time my mother still had her garden.  Her hands were rough but gentle.  I will always equate my mother's hand with Jesus because of that.


Later, I went to church with my grandparents.  Graciously picked up and dropped off by folks that had to drive a long way  out of their way to get me and my younger brother.  I learned a lot during this time....mostly what was right and what was wrong.  I love these people dearly and deeply.


When I got married, Jim went to a different denomination, which was very difficult for me.  It was very liturgical and (if you ask me) stoic.  I complained, "I don't understand a word he's saying."  We were in and out of church for a period of time for that reason and also, even though we were married, our daughter was conceived before wed-lock.  We didn't feel accepted any longer.


Due to situations in life, we (willingly) ended back at my husbands home place and started attending a baptist church.  We fit in until my formerly divorced husband was called by God to full time ministry.  No matter how much Hebrew & Greek you try to teach someone, if someone has it in their mind that the KJV is the inspired word then you are sunk.  We left.


It's hard to find a church.


The next church had a pastor who fed Jim's call.....with a carrot.....dangled on a stick.....just out of reach.


We pulled back and then Jim got his first official people call.  Interim at a SBA.  Well, we'll leave it at that.


When the body elected a pastor, Jim started Joshua House Baptist Church.   We met at a local nursing home in the Alzheimer unit.  We grew quite a bit...in number and in understanding. 


I grew.  It was during this time when I read through the bible for the first time.  I found things in there that just didn't agree with things I've been taught for years and years. 


It was then that God wanted to move us into our own building.  Guess what?  He gave us a build.  You read that right.  He GAVE us a building.  It was a mission with out a leader.  The board was weary from carrying the burden.  


We started with status quo mentality.  But God didn't leave us there.  We began a journey into grace, into mercy and into love.


There have been events over the course of the last week that have really called my attentions to where we were and where we are now.


I think all Christians can say that they believe obeying God's commands are essential for a fulfilled life.  I agree.  But Jesus says that Loving God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength is the most important commandment AND to love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments all others hinge.


People ask me how I can be so unconcerned with this or that or why situations don't bother me.  I believe I can honestly answer that by saying, believing and living:  "If I compare all the wrongs I've done to God which are numerous and grievous, then the small offenses against me are insignificant."    


My standard is not what others have done, but what Jesus has done.  While being murdered on the cross for my sin he prayed, "Forgive...".  


God's grace is forgiveness extended to me, not because I deserve it, but because he loves me.  How can I not help but love those he loved.


I pray daily that this grace grows in my heart.  That I may touch others with a love so deep that it changes a person's very breath.  That people wouldn't even see me, but the Jesus that loves me, the Jesus that loves them.  I wonder if that what Paul meant when he said he died daily.


These thoughts are so different than what they were 15 years ago.  I concerned myself with doing the right thing and making sure that others in my path were doing the right thing.  I didn't do a very good job at it, but after all, the Holy Spirit does a much better job at conviction than I do.


Maybe you can identify.  Maybe you get discouraged trying to keep up with the "good christians".  Maybe you feel dissatisfied with teachings that only about going to Heaven.  Jesus came, lived and died so that you could have life and have it more abundantly.  Keep pressing, keep praying and keep reading your bible.  


Love and peace to you in Jesus.