I'm sitting here shaking in tears.
I feel like Peter in the boat speaking to Jesus. "Depart from me, I am a sinful man."
My mediation today has been from Romans 1&2.
Paul says that no one has an excuse. God has given us every opportunity to turn to him, but some have turned away giving themselves up to a depraved mind.
It's easy for the Christian to understand chapter 1, we stand on it every time we make a judgement.
BUT
God saw fit to remind the Christian in Romans 2:1-3 ending with a severe warning in vs 4.
As I read and re-read and meditated on verses 18 through 32 of Romans 1 I realized a few things about myself in a way that I never have before
I'll admit that I don't like confrontation so I may not be completely forth right about things - skirt issues that I know will cause problems (deceit). I want things that others have (covetousness, envy). I am proud (haughty) will let you know it (insolent and boastful). Joke too much on the wrong things (foolish). Devise plans (faithless).
God through Paul says that I am just like the homosexual.
Romans 2:3 (ESV) Do you suppose, O man--you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself--that you will escape the judgment of God?
Who is the "you"?
According to the introduction Paul is speaking to "all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints" (vs 7) -- the church in Rome - known as the Gentile church.
It was unreal to me as I worked my way through it, but I felt the presence of God the entire time as he pealed back layers in my heart to reveal my condition and held my hand pointing me to the one that won the victory over that sin.
I was a dark place to go, but the light of the world was their with me. I could not have gone through it 30-some years ago when I said a prayer, my eye sight and hearing were not ready. It took me a long time to be able to desire that I apply God's word to my own life instead of applying it to situations and folks around me.
My relationship to God is one that is because of Jesus' sacrifice, cultivated and secured by the work of the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:1 clearly states that because of Jesus there is no condemnation Thank you, Jesus.
This place where God took me is definitely hard to put into words, but I wish that everyone reading it could experience that type of purity and openness before God. It is truly humiliating.
Father, keep me ever humble before you. Amen.
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
History, Meditations and Change
I am blessed to be in church at a very young age. My first memory of church was when I was little, little. There was a girl who looked like my oldest sister who had just left to go to college. I didn't understand the girl at all and was afraid of her as a result I wasn't the kindest of people to her.
The next memory I have is a Sunday School class at that same church. The teacher talked about how scarred hands help us. At the time my mother still had her garden. Her hands were rough but gentle. I will always equate my mother's hand with Jesus because of that.
Later, I went to church with my grandparents. Graciously picked up and dropped off by folks that had to drive a long way out of their way to get me and my younger brother. I learned a lot during this time....mostly what was right and what was wrong. I love these people dearly and deeply.
When I got married, Jim went to a different denomination, which was very difficult for me. It was very liturgical and (if you ask me) stoic. I complained, "I don't understand a word he's saying." We were in and out of church for a period of time for that reason and also, even though we were married, our daughter was conceived before wed-lock. We didn't feel accepted any longer.
Due to situations in life, we (willingly) ended back at my husbands home place and started attending a baptist church. We fit in until my formerly divorced husband was called by God to full time ministry. No matter how much Hebrew & Greek you try to teach someone, if someone has it in their mind that the KJV is the inspired word then you are sunk. We left.
It's hard to find a church.
The next church had a pastor who fed Jim's call.....with a carrot.....dangled on a stick.....just out of reach.
We pulled back and then Jim got his first official people call. Interim at a SBA. Well, we'll leave it at that.
When the body elected a pastor, Jim started Joshua House Baptist Church. We met at a local nursing home in the Alzheimer unit. We grew quite a bit...in number and in understanding.
I grew. It was during this time when I read through the bible for the first time. I found things in there that just didn't agree with things I've been taught for years and years.
It was then that God wanted to move us into our own building. Guess what? He gave us a build. You read that right. He GAVE us a building. It was a mission with out a leader. The board was weary from carrying the burden.
We started with status quo mentality. But God didn't leave us there. We began a journey into grace, into mercy and into love.
There have been events over the course of the last week that have really called my attentions to where we were and where we are now.
I think all Christians can say that they believe obeying God's commands are essential for a fulfilled life. I agree. But Jesus says that Loving God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength is the most important commandment AND to love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments all others hinge.
People ask me how I can be so unconcerned with this or that or why situations don't bother me. I believe I can honestly answer that by saying, believing and living: "If I compare all the wrongs I've done to God which are numerous and grievous, then the small offenses against me are insignificant."
My standard is not what others have done, but what Jesus has done. While being murdered on the cross for my sin he prayed, "Forgive...".
God's grace is forgiveness extended to me, not because I deserve it, but because he loves me. How can I not help but love those he loved.
I pray daily that this grace grows in my heart. That I may touch others with a love so deep that it changes a person's very breath. That people wouldn't even see me, but the Jesus that loves me, the Jesus that loves them. I wonder if that what Paul meant when he said he died daily.
These thoughts are so different than what they were 15 years ago. I concerned myself with doing the right thing and making sure that others in my path were doing the right thing. I didn't do a very good job at it, but after all, the Holy Spirit does a much better job at conviction than I do.
Maybe you can identify. Maybe you get discouraged trying to keep up with the "good christians". Maybe you feel dissatisfied with teachings that only about going to Heaven. Jesus came, lived and died so that you could have life and have it more abundantly. Keep pressing, keep praying and keep reading your bible.
Love and peace to you in Jesus.
The next memory I have is a Sunday School class at that same church. The teacher talked about how scarred hands help us. At the time my mother still had her garden. Her hands were rough but gentle. I will always equate my mother's hand with Jesus because of that.
Later, I went to church with my grandparents. Graciously picked up and dropped off by folks that had to drive a long way out of their way to get me and my younger brother. I learned a lot during this time....mostly what was right and what was wrong. I love these people dearly and deeply.
When I got married, Jim went to a different denomination, which was very difficult for me. It was very liturgical and (if you ask me) stoic. I complained, "I don't understand a word he's saying." We were in and out of church for a period of time for that reason and also, even though we were married, our daughter was conceived before wed-lock. We didn't feel accepted any longer.
Due to situations in life, we (willingly) ended back at my husbands home place and started attending a baptist church. We fit in until my formerly divorced husband was called by God to full time ministry. No matter how much Hebrew & Greek you try to teach someone, if someone has it in their mind that the KJV is the inspired word then you are sunk. We left.
It's hard to find a church.
The next church had a pastor who fed Jim's call.....with a carrot.....dangled on a stick.....just out of reach.
We pulled back and then Jim got his first official people call. Interim at a SBA. Well, we'll leave it at that.
When the body elected a pastor, Jim started Joshua House Baptist Church. We met at a local nursing home in the Alzheimer unit. We grew quite a bit...in number and in understanding.
I grew. It was during this time when I read through the bible for the first time. I found things in there that just didn't agree with things I've been taught for years and years.
It was then that God wanted to move us into our own building. Guess what? He gave us a build. You read that right. He GAVE us a building. It was a mission with out a leader. The board was weary from carrying the burden.
We started with status quo mentality. But God didn't leave us there. We began a journey into grace, into mercy and into love.
There have been events over the course of the last week that have really called my attentions to where we were and where we are now.
I think all Christians can say that they believe obeying God's commands are essential for a fulfilled life. I agree. But Jesus says that Loving God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength is the most important commandment AND to love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments all others hinge.
People ask me how I can be so unconcerned with this or that or why situations don't bother me. I believe I can honestly answer that by saying, believing and living: "If I compare all the wrongs I've done to God which are numerous and grievous, then the small offenses against me are insignificant."
My standard is not what others have done, but what Jesus has done. While being murdered on the cross for my sin he prayed, "Forgive...".
God's grace is forgiveness extended to me, not because I deserve it, but because he loves me. How can I not help but love those he loved.
I pray daily that this grace grows in my heart. That I may touch others with a love so deep that it changes a person's very breath. That people wouldn't even see me, but the Jesus that loves me, the Jesus that loves them. I wonder if that what Paul meant when he said he died daily.
These thoughts are so different than what they were 15 years ago. I concerned myself with doing the right thing and making sure that others in my path were doing the right thing. I didn't do a very good job at it, but after all, the Holy Spirit does a much better job at conviction than I do.
Maybe you can identify. Maybe you get discouraged trying to keep up with the "good christians". Maybe you feel dissatisfied with teachings that only about going to Heaven. Jesus came, lived and died so that you could have life and have it more abundantly. Keep pressing, keep praying and keep reading your bible.
Love and peace to you in Jesus.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Reveal
I love, love, love moments when God speaks to my heart in a deep and personal way.
Today's message at church was delivered by Tim, my brother-in-law. His heart is heavy and reflective as he is living through a tragedy that he is powerless to stop and allowing God's grace to be his balm. His best friend of 20+ years is breathing his final breaths due to liver cancer. Tim's heart is broken, but he is giving God glory.
Today's message was brought from Luke 24:13-35 On the road to Emmaus. Are you familiar with the story?
Jesus has newly risen from the grave, but his disciples are discouraged that Jesus died, is now completely gone and didn't do what they wanted him to do anyway. You see the Jews of this day were occupied by a foreign government and believed that their Messiah would deliver them from the occupation into freedom. That's how I am. Jesus take this thing away from me - it doesn't suit my kingdom.
While these two disciples where walking on the road they were discussing the events of the past few days and all that had happened to Jesus. Suddenly there appeared Jesus to walk with them. Jesus, of course, drew them into conversation. They didn't know who Jesus was because their focus was still on their own kingdom and desires. Once they stated their confusion, the author of all history, Jesus, himself taught these two how his life fit perfectly into all the law and prophets.
They continued the whole way listening. When they reached Emmaus, Jesus acted as if he would continue on the road, but they asked Jesus to stay and eat with them. It was then that Jesus remove the veil from their eyes and they realized that it was Jesus. They were so excited that they went all the way back to Jerusalem to tell the other disciples all that had taken place.
Pretty fascinating story, but the neat thing is this: these two belonged to Jesus, but they didn't have faith and confidence in Him. They had long sought for a Messiah to do what they thought should be done, not what God needed accomplished. They heard the word and still couldn't see. It wasn't until they Jesus blessed and broke the bread to them that they could fully see.
See?
I have tears in my eyes as I type.
Jesus is the bread of life. Jesus blessed and broke the bread for them (for me, for you).
Their own testimony to the other disciples culminates in the very last verse of Luke 24. Verse 35b "....he was known to them in the breaking of the bread."
Oh! What blessing there is in that.
Breaking of bread is considered fellowship, communing with one another. Am I breaking bread with Jesus to allow him to reveal himself to me.
Lord Jesus, Thank you for this word. Let my prayer and bible reading time be a time where we are communing and fellowshipping. I want you to reveal yourself to me in new ways just like you did today with this word - Your Word. Amen.
How about you: What do you think?
Today's message at church was delivered by Tim, my brother-in-law. His heart is heavy and reflective as he is living through a tragedy that he is powerless to stop and allowing God's grace to be his balm. His best friend of 20+ years is breathing his final breaths due to liver cancer. Tim's heart is broken, but he is giving God glory.
Today's message was brought from Luke 24:13-35 On the road to Emmaus. Are you familiar with the story?
Jesus has newly risen from the grave, but his disciples are discouraged that Jesus died, is now completely gone and didn't do what they wanted him to do anyway. You see the Jews of this day were occupied by a foreign government and believed that their Messiah would deliver them from the occupation into freedom. That's how I am. Jesus take this thing away from me - it doesn't suit my kingdom.
While these two disciples where walking on the road they were discussing the events of the past few days and all that had happened to Jesus. Suddenly there appeared Jesus to walk with them. Jesus, of course, drew them into conversation. They didn't know who Jesus was because their focus was still on their own kingdom and desires. Once they stated their confusion, the author of all history, Jesus, himself taught these two how his life fit perfectly into all the law and prophets.
They continued the whole way listening. When they reached Emmaus, Jesus acted as if he would continue on the road, but they asked Jesus to stay and eat with them. It was then that Jesus remove the veil from their eyes and they realized that it was Jesus. They were so excited that they went all the way back to Jerusalem to tell the other disciples all that had taken place.
Pretty fascinating story, but the neat thing is this: these two belonged to Jesus, but they didn't have faith and confidence in Him. They had long sought for a Messiah to do what they thought should be done, not what God needed accomplished. They heard the word and still couldn't see. It wasn't until they Jesus blessed and broke the bread to them that they could fully see.
See?
I have tears in my eyes as I type.
Jesus is the bread of life. Jesus blessed and broke the bread for them (for me, for you).
Their own testimony to the other disciples culminates in the very last verse of Luke 24. Verse 35b "....he was known to them in the breaking of the bread."
Oh! What blessing there is in that.
Breaking of bread is considered fellowship, communing with one another. Am I breaking bread with Jesus to allow him to reveal himself to me.
Lord Jesus, Thank you for this word. Let my prayer and bible reading time be a time where we are communing and fellowshipping. I want you to reveal yourself to me in new ways just like you did today with this word - Your Word. Amen.
How about you: What do you think?
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