I am blessed to be in church at a very young age. My first memory of church was when I was little, little. There was a girl who looked like my oldest sister who had just left to go to college. I didn't understand the girl at all and was afraid of her as a result I wasn't the kindest of people to her.
The next memory I have is a Sunday School class at that same church. The teacher talked about how scarred hands help us. At the time my mother still had her garden. Her hands were rough but gentle. I will always equate my mother's hand with Jesus because of that.
Later, I went to church with my grandparents. Graciously picked up and dropped off by folks that had to drive a long way out of their way to get me and my younger brother. I learned a lot during this time....mostly what was right and what was wrong. I love these people dearly and deeply.
When I got married, Jim went to a different denomination, which was very difficult for me. It was very liturgical and (if you ask me) stoic. I complained, "I don't understand a word he's saying." We were in and out of church for a period of time for that reason and also, even though we were married, our daughter was conceived before wed-lock. We didn't feel accepted any longer.
Due to situations in life, we (willingly) ended back at my husbands home place and started attending a baptist church. We fit in until my formerly divorced husband was called by God to full time ministry. No matter how much Hebrew & Greek you try to teach someone, if someone has it in their mind that the KJV is the inspired word then you are sunk. We left.
It's hard to find a church.
The next church had a pastor who fed Jim's call.....with a carrot.....dangled on a stick.....just out of reach.
We pulled back and then Jim got his first official people call. Interim at a SBA. Well, we'll leave it at that.
When the body elected a pastor, Jim started Joshua House Baptist Church. We met at a local nursing home in the Alzheimer unit. We grew quite a bit...in number and in understanding.
I grew. It was during this time when I read through the bible for the first time. I found things in there that just didn't agree with things I've been taught for years and years.
It was then that God wanted to move us into our own building. Guess what? He gave us a build. You read that right. He GAVE us a building. It was a mission with out a leader. The board was weary from carrying the burden.
We started with status quo mentality. But God didn't leave us there. We began a journey into grace, into mercy and into love.
There have been events over the course of the last week that have really called my attentions to where we were and where we are now.
I think all Christians can say that they believe obeying God's commands are essential for a fulfilled life. I agree. But Jesus says that Loving God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength is the most important commandment AND to love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments all others hinge.
People ask me how I can be so unconcerned with this or that or why situations don't bother me. I believe I can honestly answer that by saying, believing and living: "If I compare all the wrongs I've done to God which are numerous and grievous, then the small offenses against me are insignificant."
My standard is not what others have done, but what Jesus has done. While being murdered on the cross for my sin he prayed, "Forgive...".
God's grace is forgiveness extended to me, not because I deserve it, but because he loves me. How can I not help but love those he loved.
I pray daily that this grace grows in my heart. That I may touch others with a love so deep that it changes a person's very breath. That people wouldn't even see me, but the Jesus that loves me, the Jesus that loves them. I wonder if that what Paul meant when he said he died daily.
These thoughts are so different than what they were 15 years ago. I concerned myself with doing the right thing and making sure that others in my path were doing the right thing. I didn't do a very good job at it, but after all, the Holy Spirit does a much better job at conviction than I do.
Maybe you can identify. Maybe you get discouraged trying to keep up with the "good christians". Maybe you feel dissatisfied with teachings that only about going to Heaven. Jesus came, lived and died so that you could have life and have it more abundantly. Keep pressing, keep praying and keep reading your bible.
Love and peace to you in Jesus.
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