Utterly broken

I'm sitting here shaking in tears.


I feel like Peter in the boat speaking to Jesus.  "Depart from me, I am a sinful man."


My mediation today has been from Romans 1&2.


Paul says that no one has an excuse.  God has given us every opportunity to turn to him, but some have turned away giving themselves up to a depraved mind.  


It's easy for the Christian to understand chapter 1, we stand on it every time we make a judgement. 


BUT


God saw fit to remind the Christian in Romans 2:1-3 ending with a severe warning in vs 4.  


As I read and re-read and meditated on verses 18 through 32 of Romans 1 I realized a few things about myself in a way that I never have before


I'll admit that I don't like confrontation so I may not be completely forth right about things - skirt issues that I know will cause problems (deceit).  I want things that others have (covetousness, envy).  I am proud (haughty) will let you know it (insolent and boastful).  Joke too much on the wrong things (foolish).  Devise plans (faithless).


God through Paul says that I am just like the homosexual.


Romans 2:3 (ESV) Do you suppose, O man--you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself--that you will escape the judgment of God?


Who is the "you"?
According to the introduction Paul is speaking to "all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints" (vs 7) -- the church in Rome - known as the Gentile church.


It was unreal to me as I worked my way through it, but I felt the presence of God the entire time as he pealed back layers in my heart to reveal my condition and held my hand pointing me to the one that won the victory over that sin.


I was a dark place to go, but the light of the world was their with me.  I could not have gone through it 30-some years ago when I said a prayer, my eye sight and hearing were not ready.    It took me a long time to be able to desire that I apply God's word to my own life instead of applying it to situations and folks around me.

My relationship to God is one that is because of Jesus' sacrifice, cultivated and secured by the work of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 8:1 clearly states that because of Jesus there is no condemnation   Thank you, Jesus.


This place where God took me is definitely hard to put into words, but I wish that everyone reading it could experience that type of purity and openness before God.  It is truly humiliating. 


Father, keep me ever humble before you.  Amen.

Elihu Speaks to Job

Right now we are reading in the book of Job.  It is an arduous job.  It's a lot like listening to a lot blow hards telling you how to live your life.

Job is pondering his life and all that has happened to him.  He blames God and considers himself to be righteous.  Job has listened to his friends tell him how he must have done something wrong or God wouldn't have taken everything he has; while Job defends his (self)righteousness. 

The book is really fascinating and each time I read it I look at the overall differently.  This time, I believe it is the postering of Job and his friends.  The friends speaking for God and Job insisting that he is right.  Kind of like today's time when we see someone in our sphere hurting.

Elihu is the last to speak because he is the youngest and wanted to respect his elders.

Elihu is angry and says so.  Lots of times when we are angry we get puffed up or I should say, I get puffed up when I'm angry.  Most of my anger stems from pride, but back to Elihu.....

He makes some good points.  He says in Job 33:4-14 NIV1984

4 The Spirit of God had made me; the breath of the almighty gives me life.  5 Answer me then, if you can; prepare yourself and confront me.  6 I am just like you before God; I too have been taken from clay.  7 No fear of me should alarm you, nor should my hand be heavy upon you.  8 But you have said in my hearing--  I have heard the very words-- 9"I am pure and without sin; I am clean and free from guilt.  10 Yet God has found fault with me; he considers me his enemy. 11 He fastens my feet in shackles; he keeps close watch on all my paths."  12 But I tell you, in this you are not right, for God is greater than man. 13 Why do you complain to him that he answers none of man's words?  14 For God does speak -- now one way, now another -- though man may not perceive it.

Elihu (Anywho) goes on to make some other remarks that are....well, a little out of bounds, but hey, I've been there done that.

This is a very good point (after he put Job on the defensive).

What is he saying?  Look, Job, you say that you have done no wrong and that God is unjust in what has happened.  I'm saying consider that it is God who gave you everything, even the very breathe that you have. ( He later goes on to say that God gave you everything and made everything.)  Who are you to correct God?  Who are you to complain to God?

Isn't that the easy way out?  Get mad at God.  I've done it.  I know others that have done it.  To what end?  

God is God.  When you belong to God, you are his.  He gave everything for you.  If he tests you with the fire of life, you will not be burnt....you won't even smell like smoke.  The answer is right there in Romans 8:28 &29.  

Almost everyone can quote 8:28, but mostly stop there.  PLEASE DON"T, the best is yet to come in 29.

Romans 8:28&29 (Patty paraphrase from memory)

For we know that all things work together for good to those that are called according to his purpose.  For whom he did foreknow, he predestined to become CONFORMED TO THE IMAGE OF HIS SON. 

The good is not for things to work out the way we want them.  No that would be God building our kingdom.  The good is to make us more like Christ.  That, Dear Ones, is building God's kingdom.

Oh, how I love HIS WORD!

What do you think?  Share with me.