Worship

I like to sing, but really music is not my thing.  Ever so often a song touches me deep in my heart.  Most of Toby Mac's last album (Tonight) is like that, Joy Williams' "Do they see Jesus in Me?" is like that, also.  

Yesterday at church we sang a song that was like that.  We had a full band yesterday for the first time in a couple of years.  And they sounded good, but they sung a new (to me) song by Jeremy Camp.  It was called Overcome.  God really blessed me with inspired worship while we lifted voices up to him.  Here's the link:  http://youtu.be/FqXZD_z3eCc

Hope you enjoy this sung prayer to God.  Tell me about it.

Reveal

I love, love, love moments when God speaks to my heart in a deep and personal way.


Today's message at church was delivered by Tim, my brother-in-law.  His heart is heavy and reflective as he is living through a tragedy that he is powerless to stop and allowing God's grace to be his balm.  His best friend of 20+ years is breathing his final breaths due to liver cancer.  Tim's heart is broken, but he is giving God glory.


Today's message was brought from Luke 24:13-35  On the road to Emmaus.  Are you familiar with the story?


Jesus has newly risen from the grave, but his disciples are discouraged that Jesus died, is now completely gone and didn't do what they wanted him to do anyway.  You see the Jews of this day were occupied by a foreign government and believed that their Messiah would deliver them from the occupation into freedom.  That's how I am.  Jesus take this thing away from me - it doesn't suit my kingdom.  


While these two disciples where walking on the road they were discussing the events of the past few days and all that had happened to Jesus.  Suddenly there appeared Jesus to walk with them.  Jesus, of course, drew them into conversation.  They didn't know who Jesus was because their focus was still on their own kingdom and desires.  Once they stated their confusion, the author of all history, Jesus, himself taught these two how his life fit perfectly into all the law and prophets.


They continued the whole way listening.  When they reached Emmaus, Jesus acted as if he would continue on the road, but they asked Jesus to stay and eat with them.  It was then that Jesus remove the veil from their eyes and they realized that it was Jesus.  They were so excited that they went all the way back to Jerusalem to tell the other disciples all that had taken place. 


Pretty fascinating story, but the neat thing is this:  these two belonged to Jesus, but they didn't have faith and confidence in Him.  They had long sought for a Messiah to do what they thought should be done, not what God needed accomplished.  They heard the word and still couldn't see.  It wasn't until they Jesus blessed and broke the bread to them that they could fully see.


See?


I have tears in my eyes as I type.


Jesus is the bread of life.  Jesus blessed and broke the bread for them (for me, for you).


Their own testimony to the other disciples culminates in the very last verse of Luke 24.  Verse 35b "....he was known to them in the breaking of the bread."


Oh!  What blessing there is in that.  


Breaking of bread is considered fellowship, communing with one another.  Am I  breaking bread with Jesus to allow him to reveal himself to me.


Lord Jesus, Thank you for this word.  Let my prayer and bible reading time be a time where we are communing and fellowshipping.  I want you to reveal yourself to me in new ways just like you did today with this word - Your Word.  Amen.


How about you:  What do you think?

Forgot Again!

Ok, I fill in occasionally in children's church for the teacher.  Lately it's been every other weekend, but we got catty wompus with the recent holidays.  So this was a week I was to teach and forgot.  Grrrrr to me for not using that dull pencil and relying on that sharp memory.

Well, I'm drawing on recent meditations and praying and praying and praying.

Esther keeps coming to my mind.  My kids will love it.  I tell the story with animation as we climb into our time machine and travel backward to tell the story.  I do so love to make them smile as I bring bible stories to life.  You should hear them all say "don-kay"!  

Who can think of Esther and not think "for such a time as this."?

I wasted a lot of time and energy wishing that I were someone else, some where else on some other time line.  I dreamed I was Scarlett in Gone With the Wind - I was suited for civil war times.

Finally in my 30s, a sunday school teacher taught a lesson about that very subject, but from other scripture.  God didn't put us in pioneer days or victorian days or civil war days; He put us in this day.  

That was profoundly eye opening for me, but then again I am a little slow on the up-take sometimes.  How I wish that someone along the way would have given me that gentle nudge earlier.

Now spending the rest of the night in prayer.  

My Lord and God, Humble me to present Your word to young and tender souls.  Open ears and hearts to receive what you would have them learn.  Amen.

Elihu Speaks to Job

Right now we are reading in the book of Job.  It is an arduous job.  It's a lot like listening to a lot blow hards telling you how to live your life.

Job is pondering his life and all that has happened to him.  He blames God and considers himself to be righteous.  Job has listened to his friends tell him how he must have done something wrong or God wouldn't have taken everything he has; while Job defends his (self)righteousness. 

The book is really fascinating and each time I read it I look at the overall differently.  This time, I believe it is the postering of Job and his friends.  The friends speaking for God and Job insisting that he is right.  Kind of like today's time when we see someone in our sphere hurting.

Elihu is the last to speak because he is the youngest and wanted to respect his elders.

Elihu is angry and says so.  Lots of times when we are angry we get puffed up or I should say, I get puffed up when I'm angry.  Most of my anger stems from pride, but back to Elihu.....

He makes some good points.  He says in Job 33:4-14 NIV1984

4 The Spirit of God had made me; the breath of the almighty gives me life.  5 Answer me then, if you can; prepare yourself and confront me.  6 I am just like you before God; I too have been taken from clay.  7 No fear of me should alarm you, nor should my hand be heavy upon you.  8 But you have said in my hearing--  I have heard the very words-- 9"I am pure and without sin; I am clean and free from guilt.  10 Yet God has found fault with me; he considers me his enemy. 11 He fastens my feet in shackles; he keeps close watch on all my paths."  12 But I tell you, in this you are not right, for God is greater than man. 13 Why do you complain to him that he answers none of man's words?  14 For God does speak -- now one way, now another -- though man may not perceive it.

Elihu (Anywho) goes on to make some other remarks that are....well, a little out of bounds, but hey, I've been there done that.

This is a very good point (after he put Job on the defensive).

What is he saying?  Look, Job, you say that you have done no wrong and that God is unjust in what has happened.  I'm saying consider that it is God who gave you everything, even the very breathe that you have. ( He later goes on to say that God gave you everything and made everything.)  Who are you to correct God?  Who are you to complain to God?

Isn't that the easy way out?  Get mad at God.  I've done it.  I know others that have done it.  To what end?  

God is God.  When you belong to God, you are his.  He gave everything for you.  If he tests you with the fire of life, you will not be burnt....you won't even smell like smoke.  The answer is right there in Romans 8:28 &29.  

Almost everyone can quote 8:28, but mostly stop there.  PLEASE DON"T, the best is yet to come in 29.

Romans 8:28&29 (Patty paraphrase from memory)

For we know that all things work together for good to those that are called according to his purpose.  For whom he did foreknow, he predestined to become CONFORMED TO THE IMAGE OF HIS SON. 

The good is not for things to work out the way we want them.  No that would be God building our kingdom.  The good is to make us more like Christ.  That, Dear Ones, is building God's kingdom.

Oh, how I love HIS WORD!

What do you think?  Share with me.

Sup!

Well, well, well....
where have I been?    


Let me tell ya,
Posterous (a little gritty in the posts)  http://thepastorswife.posterous.com  warning!  I vented here and some more sensitive folk might become mildly to moderately incensed. 


Word press (nice place, just hard to do and way too much reading and way too large a learning curve to really appreciate it.)    www.patty.boyte.com


So.there you have it.  A few musings.  I'll be here at blogger for a while and hopefully will be able to share what God's been putting on my heart.

Happy Easter & Resurrection Day!

Many Folks are all about Christ today. The have put on pretty new dresses or ties, their children are neat as a pin and dressed in all matching outfits. The air is warming and flowers are blooming as a testimony of the season's change. We all sit in pretty little churches in our pretty little outfits listening to pretty little sermons about how Christ died and rose from the grave so we could go to Heaven. That message makes me sick and sad.

Sick because it's a lie. Perhaps lie is a distasteful way to state it. How about a sliver of the pie. I believe there is a bigger picture and God wants us to have so, so much more. Why would Christ say that He came so that people may have life and have life abundantly? Christ's entire reason for existence was to do the work of His Father, building His Father's kingdom. Every thing Jesus did he did with you and I in mind. He did it so that we could have a relationship with the father.

Sad because so many people are trusting in a prayer and have been told that a prayer is enough.

What is the greatest commandment? Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your strength, with all your soul AND love you neighbor as yourself. That's a lot of lovin'. The law doesn't love, it dictates. Do you really want to trust in believing in a prayer and then living life without love? Gossip, criticism, judgement is what makes us a hypocrite.

For me, I would rather live a life of love, grace and mercy the way my Jesus did.

My devotion this morning started out with an antidote about personal perfectionism. I'm not like that, I'm too laid back I thought. The author was asking if we had a problem with the way that people do things and teach them the "right" way or just go behind them to redo it and then gave a list. At the end of the list was loading the dishwasher.....I was thinking "oooooops, guess I am like that".

The point was that we can't all praise and serve God the same way. God made us each uniquely qualified to love him our way. I love to sing, but can not lead worship. I love to teach, but will never be a Beth Moore. I am me and love God through Jesus by the Spirit only the way I can.

God asks one thing of me. God asks me to love him with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my strength, with all my soul. The common thread throughout the thought is ALL. There are no gray areas, no walking the line, you're either in or out. at least in God's eye's and it's that what we to do? Want to conform more to His image?

It's so easy to get caught up in wanting to be the best and most popular among people. Giving God glory, honor and praise goes against that thought. It's the little things that we do and putting God first in all things that will be remembered for all eternity. It's taking care of my family joyfully. It's smiling to that rude, mean customer. It's the concern shown to a stranger having a bad day. It's the tons of laundry that we fold. It's the joy I take from mundane tasks of my daily life and performing them as unto Lord. To successfully praise God, I don't need to stand in front of folks, I need to humbly honor Him before Him. It will show to everyone else. God be glorified.

God is the King of Glory and Jesus the Lord of Glory. I'm studying God's glory right now. How refreshing to renew the approach to looking at my Glorious Father. He will not share his Glory with another.

When I puff myself up, he is decreased. My prayer today is that God be #1 in every area of my life. My work, my marriage, my children, my hope, my pondering, my loving. Lord, be #1 in my life and let others see that it is all for you.

God is worth of glory and honor because he is. God is worthy of honor and glory because there is existence only because of him. God is. God is holy, real, creator, true and truth, savior, worthy, life, lover, friend, father, precious. God is.

When I wake in the morning let me praise you. When I work, let me praise you. When I pillow my head at night let me praise you. I love you Lord. Use me Lord if it's nothing more than to praise you.

The Face Book Friend List and Statuses

How many of you use facebook? I use Facebook to keep up with friends, family, church members, etc. I've even reconnected with my best friend from high school. I keep a finger on what the youth in our church are up to in their lives. Let's face it, FB (facebook) is how this new generation is communicating.

Don't some of your friends annoy you on there? I have read and posted all kinds of statuses'. Game statuses, sad statuses, happy, excited, boring, stupid......there is no limit to what you will see online. If a person on my list raises my annoy factor to a point where I feel like I need to respond on their level there is a clever little button called "ignore". I've used it and it works.

The reason I write this blog is I have even had the blessing of reading the most rude status out of the thousands that I've read about 10 days ago. Why, you ask, do you say that a rude comment could be a blessing?

This particular person posted, and I quote: "just finished pruning her Friends list. If you're reading this, you made the cut. This time."

First of all this person puts on social airs. Secondly, she puts on spiritual airs. And thirdly, why do you have to announce your absolute disdain for people so openly.

You can de-freind all day long, it's fine, it's your right to do so. Then to follow up with a threat that you could be gone in future rounds? Hmmmm. Doesn't sound friendly or Christ-like. Actually sounds sick and self-centered.

On one hand, I'm sorry that I've let it bother me so much to the point that 10 days after the event that it's strong enough on my mind to blog about it. On the other hand, I'm glad that God let me experience it to grow from.

Jesus come unto me. Where ever He went crowds thronged around him. He was the life of the party (remember the Pharisees called him a glutton and a wine biber). And yet, we go to and fro and up and down the earth with the self imposed label of Christian and can't be bothered to be kind, and sweet and tenderhearted?

Words, spoken and written, have power. Power to hurt, heal, help, encourage, and love if we so choose them.

Papa, allow my words to honor everything that Your Son did in life, in death and in resurrection.

A Gift

I've come to realize that even if your love language isn't gift giving the act of gift giving is universal to express an appreciation of the giver to the givee.

We live in a small town - one of those where everyone knows everyone. We have a few restaurants that we frequent, one of those being the Chinese restaurant. For our town to have a Chinese eatery is a pretty big deal, but old hat now. We've gotten to know the ethnic employees working there and even though they keep to themselves pretty much, we try get to know them.

Peter is the Manager/owner, his "wife", Mae and their two little boys, Matthew and Jesse. They have a waitress, Nillie. All of these names are, of course, Americanized versions of their actual Chinese names. There are some other fellows who work in the kitchen who we only see occasionally and greet each other with the laughter of an inside joke. We miss Biker Bob, who was an older fellow who rode from one end of town to the other on first a peddle bicycle and then an electric scooter. Peter loved the name we gave him and it stuck. He spoke no English or at least pretended very well, but he was a fun, friendly sort.

Peter is out going and is easily engaged. His English skills are very good. Mae, not so much. She has little English and is withdrawn for this reason, but she is sweet and faithful. Nillie is young and actually from New York City. She has left behind family to be here to work. She is kind and very enduring.

My husband has decided that he likes the hot tea and she brings it as soon as she sees us come through the door. About a month ago she brings us a new brew - green tea leaves and an exquisite flavored tea. Last week we asked her about it, and in her broken English she explains that this is her private stock and is pleased that we like it so well. Soon, she brings us a beautiful green box and explains that this is ours, she wants us to have it. We try to refuse the generosity, but she insists and makes sure that we know that it's best for breakfast.

I am touched beyond belief to think that this girl who works so hard and sees little of her money would give us this tea without expecting anything but our joy in return.

That's exactly the way it is with God's gift of Grace. He gave Jesus, His only Son. Jesus gave His very life, for the very joy of it.

Thank you, Papa, for your gift of love to me that I may know you.

WOW! What a week it's been. You wouldn't believe what the Lord has done in my life this week.

Sunday starts the week with praise and worship to Papa, Son and Spirit. Sundays, no matter what they hold are always special even with the cares of the world on your sholders, Sundays lighten the load. (Maybe there's a lesson there??? Treating every day like Sunday.)

One of our greatest prayer concerns recently was over our vehicle situation. Amber had burned up her engine in her bug. Jim's Honda was flashing in the oil light and the air suspension has gone out in mine. While Amber's would be easy to fix with a rebuild kit, it is expensive. Jim's was worried about his and thought that he would lose his engine as well. Mine is just an expensive fix.

Here's how God worked through the first two:

Jim and Amber went to breakfast in our little town and happened to run into a man who is good friends with us. He supports us and our ministry - from a distance for a variety of reasons. The same day I sent an email to my parents and siblings telling them that with everything going on with our vehicles, I just didn't think it was going to be possible for us to travel the 12 hours home or the 4 hours further to help out with maintainance and repair of my parents' cottage. I called Jim later to see how his breakfast had gone with our daughter and he told me that "George" (the man at breakfast) was going to pick up Amber's car and take care of the expense and labor of repairing it. This will cost him $600 to $2,000 (depending of which method he uses). He is a wealthy man with a very healthy business, but still. God used him in our lives at just the right moment - a moment of faith and humility - to provide.

Jim's car has been replaced with a beloved vehicle....a yj jeep. It's fun to drive. It was affordable to buy with a little dickering and horse trading of course.

God is still with holding how he is going to take care of my vehicle, but he will.

Then there was a spontaneous gift from Lillie. And that is the story I will share tomorrow.

Saturday Nights

It's a Saturday night. Most people make plans for Saturday night, but I prefer to stay in. I like to "prepare" in prayer. I'm excited about what God will do in our midst. I anticipate how God will work in the lives of people he puts in my path. I am in prayer that I will not hinder that process in anyway with my environment or my list of things to do.

Papa, use me to be a blessing, do not allow me to be an obstacle to people in my life.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches

I wonder how many PBJs I've made. I used to like them until I was 14-15. My daughter liked them until about the same age. TJ can't get enought of them. He could eat them breakfast, lunch and dinner if I would let him. Ephraim will even eat them occationally.

It's funny how each person in our family likes them made differently and have a vehement opinion on the subject. Personally, I like pb on some toast, just a little. If I am making a sandwich then the pb must be spread evenly on one slice of bread and the jelly MUST be on the other slice of bread. TJ could care less where it goes or how it gets there as long as there is a bunch of jelly. Ephraim prefers 1/2 sandwiches with just peanut butter and no jelly. Jim likes his peanut butter spread just so and very light on the jelly.

Please don't speak to me about fluff....it's disgusting and for making fudge, not PBJs. Not a big fan of goober either. See above and you will understand why.

Peanut butter is yummy-nutrition is questionable unless you buy the "natural" pb. Natural peanut butter bothers me because I don't like the separation. I should try it again though since the older I get, the more healthy I'm trying to eat.

So there you have it! Peanut butter sandwiches... thankfully there are no allergies in the house.

I've been cleaning out lately. I am mortified at the things that I have held on to and squirrelled away. 35 mm cameras that I have no intention of ever using...some "family heirlooms" that will mean little to anyone but me.

One thing that I put away for a "special occasion" was a jar of home-made blackberry jam from my sister-in-law. The blackberries were picked right here on the farm and everything - that was a year ago. I know because it is less than a month until blackberries will be ready to pick again. It was on a shelf, pushed back. I wanted it for home-made bread/toast, not some peanut butter sandwich.

I found it the other day and thought, "Well, this will be good, but what is that dribble down the side?" The dribble down the side was blackberry juice. The jar's seal was broken and an entire jar of HOME-MADE BLACKBERRY JAM was wasted. That is a travesty - an awful shame.

What is even worse is opportunity and time given to me that I have wasted by not seizing the opportunity. Any resource that I do not use is squandered, be it time, energy, material possessions. Each person is given just a number of days here on this earth and what have I done with mine?

I will be 42 on my next birthday. I feel as though I have lived a lifetime yet really accomplished nothing. What have I done for Papa that will not be destroyed by the testing of fire? Jesus, live this life as I have proven that I don't know how.

Disappointments:

So much of my life revolves around Sunday, as you can imagine. I love Sundays, they are always different and new yet the same and familiar. Today was no different.


Sometimes I put more stock in people than I should. I have been let down in the past and hard, but today was probably the ultimate slap in the face. I wish I could come to this place and not see the results of Satan's subtle pull. I think I need to be thankful that God has chosen me as incapable as I am to serve Him on the front lines in this spiritual battle.


I pray that I will always remember, by the grace of God, that Jesus Christ is the only person I can truly trust to not hurt me and not break my heart or disappoint me. That all he wants is the best for me and will not consider anything but His righteousness when looking at me.


He won't consider His own flesh - He proved that when He gave His all for my life.
He won't consider His point of view-He knows it all and all sides.
He won't assume to know and understand motives-He sees the heart.


Thank you, Jesus. For being my Saviour & my Friend.

I found it! Wow, it took me a while to find my blog and signing in around 50 times, but I'm back. I hope to stay on top of this and post more often. I hope you enjoy.

Cancer
I wonder why cancer is a modern day word. Or how about congenital heart disease or try downs syndrome or diabetes or .... I guess I could go on and on and so could you. This is forefront on my mind this morning as I prepare for my day and remember friends and family who have recently died in the past week or are on their death bed.

Question: If we are evolving, why do these and various other words naming and describing life extiguishing disease exist?

Anyway.......
Last night Jim got a call that we hate to receive, but nonetheless receive all too often. 'Her cancer has returned and it has spread throughout her body.' It's a call that sends us to our knees in incessant for the afflicted both victim and family. There is no dr in her state that will treat her and she is force to another state a day's drive away from her personal support system.

The fear of the end does not hit everyone the same way. For those that know the end of this life is the passage to Heaven with Jesus Christ there is peace. For those with another heaven there is uncertainty and even more still those who have heard the good news of Jesus Christ and chosen to reject the message there is torment. There is a story in the bible about a rich man who had spent his life time laying up treasure for himself for the future. God came to him in his reverie and told him that he would die that night. What good were those things to him then?

Laugh if you wish, snicker if you must, but note that every knee will bow to Jesus Christ. Better to volunteer than to be forced. Being forced to do anything is never pleasant.

Nice 4th of July. Jim took the day off and spent it with me and the boys. It was very unexpected and fun. It is hotter than hot here, but we braved the heat to go to the parade in the morning. I think that a lot of other people thought it was hot too because it was a smaller than usual parade. After that we came home and had lunch and then took naps. I started watch LOTR - Twin Towers. After Dinner we watched the Return of the King. It was kind of nice to not have to worry about having anything to do.

Amber traveled to Jamaica and arrived safely yesterday afternoon. There was a mix up with the other group traveling and they had to be stuck at the airport waiting for them. Today she and the other interns begin ministry at a local school. She loves those people and I can not wait to see how God brings about growth in her life while she pours out her self to others. Isn't that a beautiful picture of Christ. Thank you Jesus for using my daughter as a picture of your own sacrifice. She can pour herself out because you poured yourself out for us.

Now, it is time for me to get a few extra things done around the house. There are more than a few little projects to accomplish. I'll let you know how it goes......

To God be the Glory - Great Things HE Has Done

Death and Life
It would seem that our existance is all wrapped up in those words. Today Ephraim had a pulmonology appt and was released from their care, but another heart boy, Corbin, passed away, unable to recover from his Fontan surgery. The Grabb family is very godly and have praised Jesus through this entire journey. If my baby was taken from me would I be able to praise God for He IS good. I would like to hope so.

Psalm 116:15 says "Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of one of His saints." We are reminded time and time again that this world is not my home and I'm just passing through. We are sojourners in a foreign land. How could death be precious? God looks on His creation with love and tenderness and when He brings one of us Home what a reunion it is!!!! Abscent from the body is present with the Lord.

Father, when you bring myself or one of my loved ones home let me remind myself that it will be a glorious home going reunion. Not only with I see You face to face, but I will once again fellowship with my loved ones in the perfection of your glory. Thank you for loving me; I'm so undeserving.

To God be the Glory - Great things HE has done!