Who am I?

I got a communication from a friend yesterday who is very busy.  If this person communicates with you it is VERY important.  Sure enough.  I posted a photograph celebrating my children that I unwittingly shouldn't have posted.

I swell with pride when I look at my kids and the people they are becoming.  It is a very difficult task to raise humble, well adjusted adults in today's culture of me, me, me.  It's even harder to "humbly boast" in appropriate ways of things that God is doing in their lives.

This past weekend my kids had their karate promotion for their levels.  My oldest earned his first degree black belt.

We've attended this school for three years.  We have made amazing friends and have some great traditions at this school.  One tradition is to take a nice, silly and jumping group photo  when it is all done.  A release valve of sorts.

There is one family who as a whole are "helpful". They get involved in everything and let it be known and they will step on you if you get in the way. You catch the tenor  of my thought pattern....

One of the kids made a gesture that compromised the photo.  A precious memory and time I can never recapture for my kids.  What's worse is that I'm so trained to overlook this family that I posted an obscene photo represented my family and my karate school.

I ran the gambit of emotions.  I was SHOCKED!  Then embarrassed. Then angry.  Now, after much soul searching, at peace.

I know what it is like to have a difficult to discipline child.  I hear all the time "well, if you'd spank him...."  Please, honey, this particular child has received more spankings than the other two combined and probably my husband and myself also.  Then I thought, "But for the grace of God there go I."  I hate that saying.  I truly do.  It is prideful and haughty.

The truth is:
Unless Christ is in control of my life that IS me.  Get it?  I am that awful (or whatever) person unless Jesus is controlling my mind, body and soul.

I realized this as I started to text the picture privately to others who sympathize.  I deleted the texts.....

Jesus, make my heart more like yours.  Let me leave the judgement for you because I alone am so fallible.